An Ode to Joy

It is 3 in the morning and sleep seem to be so far away.

Anyway as usual (when I am idle), I reflect. Scenes from years ago suddenly came to mind. Those embarassing moments, proud instances, and make or break situations. I said to myself, it has been three years that I am trying to live a life of normalcy doing nursing. Three years of superficial smiles, anxiety, depression, and of course triumphs.

I know that a few weeks from now I would again have to battle the same nightmares. This final year of my nursing (hopefully) is going to be very crucial for a lot of reasons. I shudder at the thought of having to complete all the cases needed for me to take up the NLE. I cringe thinking of another full year ahead of me which is surely to be filled with a lot of frustrations, depression, embarassment, adrenalin, and of course joy.

I do take great comfort in the fact that I managed to survive three years of this kind of life. It was just a few years ago that I handled my first patient in the hospital. Back then I was really nervous and didn't know a thing. I still remember being nervous about futile things such as getting the temperature of the patient, doing an interview to clients in the community, and the like. I can not believe it! It was just like yesterday that my hands were trembling when I administered my first injection!

The road ahead is long and uncertain. I look back on the past and my failures still haunt me. However I did manage to accomplish every single one task that I had to do. Maybe not perfectly but I was able to do it. And for me, that is all that matters. And for this I sing an ode to joy!