Midnight Realizations

Last Wednesday was the first day of our night duty this week.

I am so used to sleeping around 3 AM and waking up at 12 PM and so I found it hard to take a nap in the afternoon. I thought maybe the instructor would allow us to sleep. Big mistake! I ended up trying to stay awake from 12 AM Wednesday up to 7 AM Thursday.

My first day was filled with ghost stories and girly screams. Don't know about the men. Were they as scared as the girls? Only they know. Hehehe...

The second day of my night duty, I was more prepared. In fact sleepiness didn't kick in until around 8 AM the following day.

During the second day of my night duty I had a lot of realizations. The instructor said something about some students being so angry with their parents for forcing them to take up nursing. A lot of what she said really hit me. She said that when you get to save lives, that's when you get to know what a nurse is really is for.

Then at exactly 12 midnight, I went into realization mode. I do want to like this job. Whenever the patients would look at you as if saying thank you, I do feel good about myself. Whenever you meet really great people while in the job is also great and just humbling. So I guess part of me does like nursing.

Last week when we were assigned in the Operating room I met some really great people who were not shy about their anxieties whenever they go on duty. You see nurses are great actors. When the rest of the family breaks down into desperation and crying, you stay strong for them. When a patient says that he saw two children walking past a door, you say that you didn't see anything even though your knees are already trembling from fear.

I am thinking of becoming a NAMFREL volunteer for this coming May election. I am big on volunteerism at times when my idealistic side gets to me. I do hope that this will be a worthy experience. i did hear from my friend that I'll just be disappointed. Oh well, it's worth a try.

To end this post, I would like to share with you the lyrics of THE CHANGE by Garth Brooks:

One hand
Reaches out
And pulls a lost soul from harm
While a thousand more go unspoken for
They say what good have you done
By saving just this one
Its like whispering a prayer
In the fury of a storm.

And I hear them saying you'll never change things and no matter
What you do its still the same thing
But its not the world that I am changing I do this so this
World will know that it will not change me.

This heart
Still believes
The love and mercy still exist.
While all the hatred rage and so many say
That love is all but pointless in madness such as this
Its like trying to stop a fire
With the moisture from a kiss.

As long as one heart still holds on
Then hope is never really gone.

What I do is so
This world will know
That it will not change me

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