An Ode to Joy

It is 3 in the morning and sleep seem to be so far away.

Anyway as usual (when I am idle), I reflect. Scenes from years ago suddenly came to mind. Those embarassing moments, proud instances, and make or break situations. I said to myself, it has been three years that I am trying to live a life of normalcy doing nursing. Three years of superficial smiles, anxiety, depression, and of course triumphs.

I know that a few weeks from now I would again have to battle the same nightmares. This final year of my nursing (hopefully) is going to be very crucial for a lot of reasons. I shudder at the thought of having to complete all the cases needed for me to take up the NLE. I cringe thinking of another full year ahead of me which is surely to be filled with a lot of frustrations, depression, embarassment, adrenalin, and of course joy.

I do take great comfort in the fact that I managed to survive three years of this kind of life. It was just a few years ago that I handled my first patient in the hospital. Back then I was really nervous and didn't know a thing. I still remember being nervous about futile things such as getting the temperature of the patient, doing an interview to clients in the community, and the like. I can not believe it! It was just like yesterday that my hands were trembling when I administered my first injection!

The road ahead is long and uncertain. I look back on the past and my failures still haunt me. However I did manage to accomplish every single one task that I had to do. Maybe not perfectly but I was able to do it. And for me, that is all that matters. And for this I sing an ode to joy!

5 comments:

mamazilla said...

hi jerome! thanks for visiting my blog and commenting. and as soon as i can, i'll link my blog to pinoy penster. :) i love to read others' works - it helps to spur my own creative process.

reading your post reminds me of my sister's similar worries and dilemmas when she finished up nursing just recently. we were in manila in february for her wedding. it was so great to be back in manila even if for a short time. i can't wait to go back for a longer visit!

Jerome C. Herrera said...

Hello Mamazilla! Thanks so much for commenting. It is nice to hear that I am not alone in my dillema. God bless!

Mayang said...

life's a long and winding road kiddo! :)

but you'll eventually know where you're supposed to go, you jst need to sometimes get lost thru brushes and thickets and wander thru endless trails for you to know which path to take, trust me!(that is, if you don't get too stupid for your own good?!) haha ;)

lurrrve said...

hmf! si jerome nagmumuni-muni.. hehehe...one yr to go nalang!! we can do it!! =)

Jerome C. Herrera said...

Thanks for commenting guys!